After the cashier’s checkout Maria climbed up to the roof to dream. I suppose that’s what every young person Sometimes, or maybe not But every now and then In deep loneliness a connection to everything Being part of heaven the northern lights and the stars, Like Mary on starlit nights for five decades.
Among the fucking clowns He bent himself into every knot Where man bent A triumphal arch on the estrade To the jubilation of others in class The working class, the creative class, and every fucking class And he, the most formally qualified Forgot his form and left the circus And took his place as a reading lamp in the country library
The strongman Alan Paine did not enjoy performing Every show was an ordeal for him The applause rang in his ears like a firing squad The journeys ate him up, and the train’s rattle rattled the coffin lid The whole circus was to him like the gates of hell But the pressure did not make him a diamond Alan, the strong man, grew wings from the pressure And flew away.
They shared the stage for thirty-three years, their collaboration withstood illness, bad times, break-ups and wild gigs. Never once did they disagree about their work. Then they began to understand each other. That’s where the problems started.
Sometimes I wish you were dead Then this would be over And there’d be nothing to do Now we’re just leaving On different roads And unspeakable deeds Words unsaid They were left in the air Like spores And yet I know The journey is impossible Sometimes I wish you were dead So I could come and talk to your grave.
Sam de Ville had worked a long week, every extra hour he could and some he couldn’t, and had worked a Saturday, and then a long Sunday, before the week started all over again. On Wednesday, at 6.15am, he left again, taking his cap and nine-year-old blue hoodie, which he had last washed in the spring, when the first spring rains swept the dust from the city. Now the Canadian maples were blushing in the autumn rain and Sam de Ville was walking from the 14th Street station when he saw the reflection in the Chipotle window. An empty hoodie and cap stood there in the rain, on the corner of Irving Place, and Sam de Ville never made it to work.
The first time they did the Dolly in the Sky walk, they hadn’t finished practising it. But the performance was mostly spot on, as they say, they made it look like Dolly was walking off the stage on the backs of men jumping in the air. In reality, at some points there was a gap of tens of centimetres, but the lights, the movement, the distance and the magic of the circus, what the professionals called the ropes, created for the audience what they wanted to believe in the circus, a miracle. But it was also the case that Dolly, was very gullible, and had she not been, she might not have been a trapeze artist, for she would have wanted to be a detective story writer. But her uncle had led her to believe that there were no such things as female detective writers, and Dolly’s ideal, Agatha Christie, was in fact a Polish man. After they’d done the trick dozens of times, Dolly believed in the magic of the circus herself, and left the wire off. It didn’t bother anyone.